When you live with chronic illnesses, you count on people to have your back. I have been lucky that most of the people that I have chosen to become close friends with have been there for me in thick and thin. However, I have resolved that in 2016, I will no longer be played, manipulated, or betrayed for the resources that either myself or my family can provide. I have been repeatedly stabbed in the back by certain individuals I was sure that I could trust. Now that the lines have been blurred, I don't know anymore. So therefore, all of these toxic people will be removed. It is best for me. I am sick of dealing with the drama that I didn't create.
I don't need someone to tell me "Oh, you always look so stressed after meetings. Why don't you step down from your leadership position." "I don't think it is a good idea for you to come to conference with us, because you could get sick and someone would have to spoil their conference experience to sit in the ER with you." In the meantime, I am one of the people that secured the funding for the group to be able to go to conference. That is just discriminatory and backstabbing. By the way, stress isn't making me sick. There are antibodies in my blood causing my body to go haywire, so how dare you assume that stress is making me sick. It is not in my head and I have blood tests, lumbar punctures, EMGs, and grossly abnormal QSARTs to prove it.
I know that everyone has challenges in life, but I was hoping that you would be more sensitive to mine. I listen to your problems and try to help in any way I can. I don't do this because I expect anything in return, but I would hope that when I need help, you would be there.
While you enjoyed your winter break, I spent the first portion of it in the hospital receiving high doses of steroids, undergoing procedures, coding, ending up on a ventilator and in critical condition. At one point, I had a GCS of 3, pupils fixed and dilated, no corneal reflex, nothing. When I came to, my chest was covered in bruises from sternal rubs and my arms were bruised from being pinched. In addition, I spent countless hours in hospitals for doctors appointments and testing. Here are the pictures below to prove it. I hope you are happy with yourselves, because guess what? You won. I am not fighting for this anymore. I am worth more than I am being treated.
I wish you all the very best in your futures.