To the doctor that believed I could conquer the world,
When you met me, I was a 16-year-old that thought they had a pretty high pain tolerance. Boy, was I wrong! The pain I have endured over the last four years, my 16-year-old self would have passed out cold from the pain. You developed a plan to control my pain and it worked really, really well! It still works, but now that the hospital administration has discontinued the treatment program and you are unfortunately no longer my doctor, I'm forced to adapt.
Thank you for giving me the four amazing years to fight CRPS and win. I wouldn't be alive today without you and I definitely wouldn't have had the successes I've had if it weren't for your innovative thinking.
Thank you to you and your nurses for battling the insurance companies to allow me to get the treatments I needed. Without those treatments, my quality of life would have gone out the window a long time ago, and I don't know where I'd even be today. I definitely wouldn't be a successful college student though.
Thank you for constantly reassuring me that everything is going to be ok, even when I was absolutely certain that it wasn't going to be. I'm glad that I was able to tell you what I was thinking completely unfiltered if need be.
Thank you for making me laugh until I cried on the days I'm in the most pain. You've taken me to the operating room many times (I lost count after 50), and you made me completely at ease. I didn't have to fear going under anesthesia, because I knew that you would take care of me and I've come to trust you with my life.
Every individual with a chronic illness needs at least one doctor like you who is willing to step up and do what's best for their patient, even if it's not the most popular decision.
I'm being forced to turn the page on my chronic illness journey. You absolutely believed I could conquer the world if I had adequate pain control. You bragged about all of my accomplishments to other doctors like I was your daughter and I couldn't have done any of it without you.
I'm heartbroken and quite honestly, very scared to venture out into the world of adult pain management. I thought I'd have you as my doctor for another 6 years. I was supposed to have you as my doctor for another 6 years. I thought I had time. I didn't.
Although we've had to part ways very suddenly due to hospital administration interference, I'm thankful to be able to call you the first pain management doctor that actually helped me. Everyone thought we were making progress over the years and that the treatments wouldn't be threatened by the hospital, but we were wrong. Some feel like we failed. In my eyes, and in the eyes of every single patient you've helped, we didn't fail. You bought us more time to be as close to typical kids as humanly possible. You bought me four more years to have a good quality of life and for that, I will always be grateful.
One of your very first patients
I am a 20 year old junior at the college of my dreams. I am studying Emergency Medicine and Communication Rhetoric and minoring in the Administration of Justice and National Preparedness and Emergency Management certificate. At some point, I want to go and get my paramedic certification when my health allows. I have several chronic illnesses and this blog and website serves as a place for me to share my journey fighting CRPS and my other conditions. I hope that this blog can also serve as an outlet for raising awareness for rare diseases. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment; I'd love to know what you think!